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I married at 34 as a virgin, did not kiss during courtship – Blessing Lydia Titiloye

Blessing Lydia Titiloye is a native of Ijomu-Oro in Irepodun LGA, Kwara State. But she was born in Lagos to the family of Rev. (Arc) Samuel and Rev. (Mrs) Mary Oluwatunbi. She is the first child of four children.

She attended Babs Fafunwa Millennium Senior Secondary School. She holds a first degree in Physical Education from the University of Ilorin, a Master’s degree in Sports Psychology from the University of Lagos. She graduated as the best overall in the department of Human Kinetics with Grade ‘A’ in her project. She is a teacher by profession and founder of Blessing Liberty Foundation International.

Blessing who gave her life to Christ on February 6, 2001 shares her story with Church Times Nigeria.

You are so tenacious about your advocacy for purity among young people. What informed your passion?

As a young girl in JSS3, I had a classmate that got pregnant and died when she attempted to abort the pregnancy. It was a very touching incident. That was what made me make up my mind at the age of 12 to marry as a virgin and to be married to a handsome man. God made my aspiration a reality. I also started advocating for sexual purity since age 12.

As a result of this advocacy, I established my NGO, Blessing Liberty Foundation International in 2007. We are into sexual purity campaign and academic excellence. We organize various grassroots crusade with thousands of young participants. I have published two books, titled, Sexual Purity in our Times and Feeds to the Top. Many lives and destinies had been moulded and mentored through this forum. We do online mentorship programs for teenagers and young adults.

From the benefit of hindsight, why do you think some young ladies are promiscuous?

Young ladies and even men are promiscuous as a result of their background and the environment where they grew up. Some inherit that trait from their parents. For some, it’s because of poverty. Such people need to find a means of livelihood so they go into prostitution. But essentially people who don’t have genuine salvation experience will be prone to such vice.

You married at 34. How was it waiting for your husband? And how did you now meet him?

It was somehow challenging but God saw me through. It was by divine guidance and arrangement. I happened to be at home that beautiful and memorable Monday. God brought him to my Father’s house on a business appointment and that was how we met. Then we got talking. The rest as they say is history. I have been having a great and pleasant relationship with him to the glory of God. God has been faithful as he was worth waiting for. We had a pure courtship. No kissing before marriage.

Was it that men were not coming to seek your hand in marriage; that was why you had a delay?

They came but I was not led by God to start any stable relationship as at the time they were coming.

What would you consider the reasons many ladies these days have delayed marriage?

In most cases, some of the ladies were into the wrong relationship that doesn’t end in marriage. Some have no desire to marry early because of nasty experiences of their parents or sometimes because of their career. Some have the fear of getting it wrong. For some, it is a lack of understanding and undefined relationships. Some have experienced previous heartbreaks.

What practical advice will you then give ladies waiting for a life-partner?

Well, I will advise them to always watch and pray. That is very key if they are going to get it right. They should never give in to pressure from parents, friends or acquaintances. They should also not be afraid of saying yes if they are convinced. They should Look around, look within and discern where God is leading them in terms of relationship with a life partner. They should also always define their relationship with the man. While waiting they should keep on improving on themselves academically, spiritually, financially. They should not be afraid of making progress as singles. They should abstain totally from premarital sex. They should dress well with modesty. They should not shy away from letting people know their status as single. They should not let anyone assume they are engaged when they are still single.

At the last online conference on sexual assault which I was part of, you talked about attempting suicide while you were waiting for a partner. Why did you contemplate such extreme action?

It was a challenging time in my life. People were giving false prophecies, visions and advice that I should just settle for anybody rather than wait for God’s leading. I was introduced to several men. Some people even tried to match-make me to different men. Such men include a widower who had a toddler, divorcee with 3 girls and elderly men in their sixties. The pressure was so much. I was emotionally down. The day I attempted taking my life, I got some sleeping tablets and wanted to swallow them when God spoke to me that if I killed myself I would end up in hell. I dropped the idea and wept bitterly that day. It was a month after that experience that my husband came.

What is it about sexual sins from your interaction with young people and how can one be free?

There is trauma attached to it which could have emotional, psychological and physical implications. The person who practices sexual sin could have (HIV/AIDS) Sexually Transmitted Diseases etc). One of the ways to be free is for the victim to feed on the word of God and ask for God’s help because only God can deliver one from such bondage. The person should also read materials on sexual purity and read stories of those who have testimonies of victories over sexual sins. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God. The person involved should also organize prayer meetings or participate in prayer conferences for deliverance. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood.

 

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